Your Family

Sheryl Bautch from family service joins us...Now last week we reviewed warning signs that may indicate your senior family member is an unsafe driver. This week we offer some suggestions for how to talk to your senior family member about these concerns. Addressing this issue can be very difficult, for both the senior and the family. But ignoring the situation can have tragic results. Why is it so difficult for a senior to give up driving? In our society, driving is a sign of adulthood and independence. So losing the ability to drive presents not only practical challenges for the senior- such as how to get to the doctor or the grocery store- but also involves the emotions of anger, embarrassment and grief over the loss of independence. What are some suggestions for families that need to address this issue with a senior family member? Prepare and practice: Practice the conversation either by yourself or with someone who can role-play the senior. Think about possible responses and reactions and how you will answer them. Be prepared for a negative reaction: Dont take a negative reaction personally and dont argue with the senior. This issue may require more than one discussion, as the senior may need time to get over the initial embarrassment or denial of the problem. Offer alternatives: This may not yet be an all or nothing issue. Perhaps safety concerns can be adequately addressed with a change in driving habits, such as no driving at night, on the highways, or during rush hour. If driving must be given up completely, offer to help the senior develop alternative modes of transportation including taxis, busses, and friends and family who are willing to provide rides. You can also call the family service senior resource center at 352-5100 for information on senior transportation services. Sometimes seniors can hear these concerns better from someone other than a family member, especially if that family member is the seniors son or daughter. A friend or the seniors physician may be able to reinforce your concerns. Dont ignore the situation: The life of your family member and of others with whom they share the road may depend on you.