Sexual Assault Talks

It's not just stranger danger anymore. "It's only the part of the story," says counselor Phillip Chmielewski. "Don't take rides from strangers is good advice, but you also have to be able to deal with situations where it's not a stranger it's someone you know and maybe even trust." And that makes talking with your kids about sexual assault much more complicated. Chmielewski says, "The exception is the stranger the knowing person is more often the rule." That's why social workers say it's more important than ever for children to be prepared, and that all starts with the parent. "Are you willing to talk about sex?" asks Lawrence Lewis, a social worker who runs the education program at Planned Parenthood in Champaign. Lewis says you better be... and earlier than you might expect. "As early as they can think about it," he says. And Chmielewski agrees. "When the child is old enough to ask the question then he or she deserves an age appropriate response." For some, Lewis says that might mean starting with books to explain body parts to a three-year-old. But for most, the key to this conversation is making sure your child is aware of his or her own emotions. "When they start to feel icky or scared or uncomfortable or extremely awkward to be aware of their own reactions to situations," explains Chmielewski. But social workers warn, don't define those red flags for kids; You could end up leaving something out. "Young people need to be able to allow that inner compass that says 'this does not feel good,'" says Lewis. Another tip from Lewis, pay attention to your kids. "Just to get a sense of their day-to-day routines." And pick up on their mood swings. Experts say that's the only way to really know, and the only way to protect your kids from becoming another victim. Because in the end... "All you can do is prepare your child for what's out there," says Chmielewski. "And hope that your instuction to them is enough to keep them safe." For help or ideas here are some resources: Planned Parenthood: 217-359-8002 A Woman's Fund: 217-355-5214 Champaign Co. Children's Advocacy Center: 217-384-1266 Mental Health Center of Champaign Co.: 217-373-2430 The Pavilion: 1-800-373-1700 or 217-373-1700