Listening To Your Kids

Maintaining the lines of communication between parents and children is vital if you expect kids to open up. And a key to doing that is establishing a foundation when they`re young. Sheryl Bautch from Family Services is here to tell us about some ways we can maintain good commincation skills with children. It seems that getting teens to communicate with their parents can sometimes be difficult. Yes, many parents face this challenge. One day, without quite knowing how it happened, we realize that the toddler who wouldn`t stop talking has become the sullen teenager who doesn`t seem to want to talk to us at all. Why is it so important for parents to be good listeners? Unfortunately, a lot of communication from parents to children is one way. when our children are young, we spend a lot of time telling them what to do and how to do it, but not much time listening to what they have to say. Then when they`re older, we suddenly expect them to tell us what they`re doing and thinking and feeling. But if we aren`t a good listener when our children are young, they`re much less likely to communicate with us as they grow older. What are some tips for parents who want to be good listeners and encourage their children to talk to them? Start when they are young: if we want our teens to talk to us, we have to listen to them when they`re toddlers. Young children will talk and talk, and sometimes it`s difficult to stop what we`re doing to listen to them. But if they learn when they`re young that we are interested in what they say and that we will make time for them, they`ll continue to talk to us as they grow older. Ask your child`s opinions: it`s great to ask your child what happened at school today, but don`t stop there. We should also ask them what they think about their classes and their teachers, or about current events or other activities that are important to them. Our children will be thrilled that we care what they think and will be encouraged to talk to us if they can express their opinions. we need to be prepared for the fact, however, that as they grow older their opinions may differ from our own. Watch your reactions: if we react with shock or anger when our child tells us something, chances are it may be the last time they open up to us. That doesn`t mean we can`t question their actions or their opinions, but we need to do it in a calm and respectful way that will keep the lines of communication open for the future.