Communicating with Children

Parents need to be good listeners if they hope to establish and maintain good communication with their children, from toddlers to teens. Here`s advice from Sheryl Bautch of Family Service in Champaign. It seems that getting teens to communicate with their parents can sometimes be difficult? Yes, many parents face this challenge. One day, without quite knowing how it happened, we realize that the toddler who wouldnt stop talking has become the sullen teenager who doesnt seem to want to talk to us at all. Why is it so important for parents to be good listeners? Unfortunately, a lot of communication from parents to children is one way. When our children are young, we spend a lot of time telling them what to do and how to do it, but not much time listening to what they have to say. Then when theyre older, we suddenly expect them to tell us what theyre doing and thinking and feeling. But if we arent a good listener when our children are young, theyre much less likely to communicate with us as they grow older. What are some tips for parents who want to be good listeners and encourage their children to talk to them? Start when they are young: If we want our teens to talk to us, we have to listen to them when theyre toddlers. Young children will talk and talk, and sometimes its difficult to stop what were doing to listen to them. But if they learn when theyre young that we are interested in what they say and that we will make time for them, theyll continue to talk to us as they grow older. Ask your childs opinions: Its great to ask your child what happened at school today, but dont stop there. We should also ask them what they think about their classes and their teachers, or about current events or other activities that are important to them. Our children will be thrilled that we care what they think and will be encouraged to talk to us if they can express their opinions. We need to be prepared for the fact, however, that as they grow older their opinions may differ from our own. Watch your reactions: If we react with shock or anger when our child tells us something, chances are it may be the last time they open up to us. That doesnt mean we cant question their actions or their opinions, but we need to do it in a calm and respectful way that will keep the lines of communication open.