Putting the Romance in Finance
Updated: January 7, 2009
Theres an old saying, romance without finance is no good. Whether youre just starting out or youve been together for years, you know making romance and finance work together can be frustrating and confusing. As with many aspects of relationship building, communications is the key. This morning, Susan Abbott from Busey Bank, shares tips on how to avoid the love and money quagmire:
Q1: Why is making romance and finance work so hard?
Money usually isnt the cause of the problem, its how couples think and feel about money that causes trouble.
Money has been considered a "taboo" subject in many households for years.
We tend to fight about money, and love, because we want to believe neither has anything to do with the other.
Q2: What are the some of the keys to putting the romance in finance?
· Understand each others "money personality". Most people fall into one or more categories:
Spenders are classic "shop ‘til you drop" consumers who derive a rush of pleasure from buying. May be allergic to budgeting, prioritizing and saving.
Hoarders have strict budgets and systematically prioritize everything. Saving for them is the epitome of fun, and spending on entertainment, vacations and anything but the bare necessities is seen as frivolous.
Avoiders put off dealing with money management because the task overwhelms them. Since they dont like budgets or keeping records, they frequently forget to pay their bills.
Amassers stockpile their funds in order to feel safe and happy. The bigger the pile the better they feel.
Q3: After we understand each others individual styles, what are some of the other steps we should take?
Set aside time to define goals and find strategies that work around your differences so you can meet those goals.
Review your finances together on a regular basis.
Talk about money matters openly and honestly, without anger and during peaceful times not just in the heat of the crisis.
Q4: Any final words?
Remember, youre in this together, a team, and youre more likely to achieve your financial goals together rather than apart.
By sharing your financial life openly, you may find your relationship is richer, in terms of money,and love.
(Money personality types excerpted from Money Harmony: Resolving Money Conflicts inYour Life and Relationships, by Olivia Mellan. Published 1995 by Walker & Co.)
